We had a tiff earlier this week... a friend of his had a mental breakdown, ended up in the hospital. was suicidal.
it brought back a lot of memories... and as is common with me two things happen when i am very upset...either i am silent and withdrwn....or i am moody
tues i was moody. I hadnt had a chance to talk to him, and he didnt pick up on my moodiness and being very different then usual... and i was going to talk t him tues night... but that didnt happen.
i was atta friends place, his freind called. asked us to pick up our stuff we had fergotten from haloween party. i said we cld pick it up that night as he was comeing back from boxing. it was on the way home anyways. and the freind offered a drive back
but when wesley came by, he said it was after nine and he wanted to get home to bed. i said it was only gonna take fiteen mins tops. he still said no. i was pissed , i had hoped to take this as a chance to see the freind and maybe aleiviate sum of my worries and as such get rid of a lot of these memories... so i said to him "then u call and tell him we cant come by. im not staying at ur friends place alone, we already discussed early one and a greed thats a bit odd. so u call and tell him u dnt have fifteen mins to spare..."
he said "later"
i said " wesley he is expecting us, please call him now and let him know we arent comeing"
"later"
now at this point, all this is extremely unusual of me... i dont nag. i dont pick fights. all this is weird...
i said again " call him wesley and let him know wr arent comeing, he is expecting us in like ten mins"
again h said "later"
i nagged him the whole way home..
now dont get me wrong, i shouldnt have nagged him, my bad. and i have already apologised to him fer that... that is not nirmal behavior for me, it is a sign sumthing is off...
so we got home, and he calls....
then i ask him to come by as i need to talk to him, he lives across the hall. hes pissed. im ashamed. and i need to talk.
he doesnt drop by. instead he plays his stupid online game till eleven.... i know this because i had to turn to my friend Sally to talk when he didnt show and sally says he is ignoreing my calls and texts as he is gameing. so i text him as much "you wont drop by yer freinds fer fiteen mins cus its is after 9 but u will game till eleven and u dont drop by when i ask when i say i need to talk...i am just a lil miffed"
the next day, my co workers who have know me fer less then six mths...all notice sumthign is up.... all ask me what is up...
we go two days without talking biut it then thurs we talk..i explain it all...he accpet smy apology...and then..nutting from him.
he says " yeah i was pissed at you for the nagging" .... as his reason to whyu he ignored my text and call
btw he stays up wed and thurs to game till eleven too..
so last night i talk and i begin by asking... is therr anythign bothering u. is sumthing up. u are acting oddly, gameing till eleven when u are usually in bed by nine thirty tops.....
he sayd no nothing is wrong, he is fine....
"every night u tell me u need to be home by nine thirty to go to bed. u have no time to cuddle with me, not even ten mins if it is poast nine thirty as u need ot sleep. i have to beg u to come by... and yet..this weke u have polayed ur stupid game every night till eleven r midnight. and u said tues u didnt wanna go to ur friends, who just had a mental breakdown, fer fifteen mins...cus it was past nine and yet u game till eleven or midnight...wtf. why?"
he was silent a long time, then said i was right, had no answers as to why and that he was really really pissed tues with my nagging and admits he ignored my texts and call.... and that was that...
then i piint blank said, when he acts out of ordinary i notice, i ask...he didnt think it wa sodd fer me to nagg. after nine mths i dont nagg, and im nagging.
he said i was right...
i told him why i was upset, anf thta i shouldnt have nagged. i was really upset he didnt clue into my unsual behavoir then didnt stop by to talk so i cld apologise and talk about what was bothering me...
nuttin...
and so later that night he says he forgives me again, we cuddle and im still upset..he is about to leave and im silent and almost crying again... and i dont hear him as he says sumthing, he clues into i dont hear him. im am snuggleing fi and trying not to cry and he just asks his question again and walks off..
so the next day i tell him i was upset...
and he feels like crap fer not noticeing..
i tell himit is fine, he cant always notice when i am down and if i do not tell him. i justw anted to let him know...
learning curves...
and now he acts as if everythingis all hony doary..and it is...
i suppose.
i just feel a lil annoyed my coworkers pick up n my feelings, and my boyfreind doesntt.\and i am more then a lil miffed that all it tkes is five minutes of nagging for him to be pissed...
argh
its not that bad..really..just a lil annoying
