But time, new love, and Jesus heal all wounds

Friday, March 2, 2012

todays theme song

I know your words werent all true now. and it breaks my heart.... y did u not be honest with me. u said the thing u loved most about me is my honesty...
i will move on....altho i wish to god u wld turn the fuck around and knock on my door... u didnt kiss me goodbye, i wish you would have.....
is this what u did for me... did u really love me? and did u just realise u cldnt give me what i needed and let me go... i hope so. becaue it is so much better then the alternative...and wld explain your cowardice..

Song - Kiss me Goodbye (English) by Angela Aki

Lyrics:

You say my love is all you need, to see you through
But I know these words are not quite true

Here is the path you're looking for, an open door
Leading to worlds you long to explore

Go, if you must move on alone
I'm gonna make it on my own
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/angela_aki/kiss_me_good_bye_english_version.html ]
Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
Follow your heart and find your destiny
Won't she'd a tear, for love's mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

As time goes by I know you'll see this of me:
I loved you enough to let you go free

Go, I will give you wings to fly
Cast all your fears into the sky

Kiss me good-bye, love's mystery
All of my life I'll hold you close to me

Won't she'd a tear for love's mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
You put the dream in my reality





tonight i feel liek i wanna cry, and i never will get over him walkign away...and i have ben the kind to let let my feelings show but i really tried to be strong and trying to let my pain not show but it goes and shows itself and.... yeah. i also wanna go away ina transdimensional time device like the Doctor has.... then i'd go back in tiem and watch all the fun times we had..
and i never will get over you tho if i hide...
so i go on
even if i dont wan to...
i really wish...he would come back.
he is doing just fine, and i am falling apart...

TONIGHT I WANN CRY: Keith Urban
LYRICS:
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

oOOo

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Freddie Mercury- Love kills(Star rider Remix)

LYRICS
Love kills, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
It's just a living past time, ruining your heartline
Stays for a lifetime, won't let you go
Coz love love love won't leave you alone

Love don't give no compensation, love don't pay no bills
Love don't give no indication, love just won't stand still

Love kills, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
It's just a living past time, ruining your heartline
Stays for a lifetime, won't let you go
Coz love love love won't leave you alone

Love won't take no reservations, love is no square deal
Hey love don't give no justification, it strikes like cold steel

Love kills, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
It's just a living pastime, burning your lifeline
Gives you a hard time won't let you go
Coz love (love) love (love) love won't leave you alone

Hey love can play with your emotions
Open invitation to your heart
Hey love kills
Play with your emotions
Open invitation to your heart (to your heart)
Love kills (love kills), hey hey, love kills (love kills)
Love kills kills kills kills
Love can play with your emotions, open invitation

Love kills, hey, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
It's just a living pastime, ruining your hearrline
Won't let you go
Love kills, hey, drills you through your heart
Love kills, tears you right apart
It won't let go, it won't let go
Love kills, yeah



I will NEVER be here again because of love, i promise i will not go this dark ever again over a man..but...damn.... I am so heartbroken....

Kangel - Tears That I Cry

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared
Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]

Turn around and walk away
I need some personal space
To get my mind straight and disappear without a trace
My life is just a waste of money and minutes
Like love is just a waste of my tears and my feelings
Nobody else is living my life except myself
I can choose to ignore the conditions of my health
Bad days become weak days and hard to really speak
Explain what's on my mind and everything all combined
Dammit I ain't lying
Dear god I feel like dying
Why is it every night that my eyes continue crying?
Alone here in the dark and writing these last words
My gift is not a blessing
My obsession is a curse
Thought it couldn't be worse
Feeling how much it hurts
My pride is ready to burst from putting myself first
Trying to help someone else before I can help myself
I wanted to end the pain that's real is how I felt

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared
Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]

How many fuckin times does a young one have to try
Still struggling to live but still itchin to die
Sometimes I used to cry because I felt nobody cared
All the pain I used to have I felt no one could share
Sometimes I felt alone because no on was even there
My days of tears are done because there's no more tears to shed
All I see it in my head like how I'm gonna die
Leave my body lying cold my fam (or fans) n peeps will cry
And Bullets will always fly
your mommas will always try
to see the lil kid's G each ride up in the sky
And it's worth every minute when we stare into their eyes
And kids did daddy's tried it but to blind it with pride
So instead they gotta hide
Don't kno if the kid's alive trying to hold on the feeling
And we see that's just a lie
Because most men do it
Doesn't mean it makes it right
It takes two to make a life
One husband and his wife

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared
Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]

There's lots of kids sleepin I'm still tossin n turning
Deep inside I'm still flossing this burn
And I cry like a b1tch one nobody's around
It's a pain I hide inside so I never make a sound
I'm a soldier from the very day I was born
And when it's over that's the quote for my tombstone
20 years gone by I feel like I'm chasin a lie
They tell me don't chase things unless ur willin to die
And at this point straight up I stopped givin a fuk
Too many scars in this mess
I feel like giving it up
I guess it's karma but fuk my karma don't work
I do good expecting good but instead I get hurt
I'm society's dirt, well fed in metro houses
Convicted a few times I can never be renounced
My life is a poem in a story u see
But all I really ask was to see me for me
And I kno that lost souls will pity it all
Even when u fall down u gotta learn how to crawl
My heart's harder the wall
Maybe that's why I can't show any feeling for this world
That's why they don't know

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared
Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]

Thursday, March 1, 2012

he broke my heart.... and hes doing just fine apparently. my only hope was that after a few days he wld reslise that he missed me...and come back. but...he is not....
and
yeah..
i found a bunch of his shit at my place and he wont even get it. told a freind to throw it out...
no im not gonna throw out his stuff he forgot...
i have come th the realisation he really is a coward and a little boy stuck in amans body
even i f he were to come back i dont know if i woudl take him back..
im doing my damndest not to go too dark on this. i have no bad harmful thoughts...but one thing keeps comeing up..
how little i was worth to him. that in the end i was only worth a 2 min breakup.
and im disgusted at how much i have fallen aprt over this boy-man coward
apparently i was clingy and marriage crazed....
whatever
imiss him with all my heart... but he isnt worth my time...i need to get over him.
a lot of people are psushing me to allan, cus he is promising me evrything welsey couldnt give me...
but i still love wesley and still hope he wld come back, despite how much i say i hate him...
so until i can stop hopeing.... i cant even beging to think to be with anybody else
altho...damn it is fun to flirt again :)
well... ive got to go. urs truly has been a blubbering mess and i need to just let go... and cry a little.
im also sleeping over at emily and alns tonight whilst allan is at work..and im in his bed as we speak cus he isnt home and it is a free bed... perhaps i will play myself to sleep. lol.
fun?
goodnight...
and as fer wesley...
what a coward u turned out to be...