So, I'm still not dating anybody. primarily cus i wanna take time to get over Allan and in getting over Allan get to know Me a lil better.
Just one slight problem.
not over Allan.
still having sex with Allan.
albeit not all the time, it is every other time we meet.
yeah.
i know.
i need a really really good sex toy.
or a new city.
i mean, its gotten so bad, i dont even want to fight it anymore. he comes over and i'm fighting all these urges cus i am still madly deeply passionately in love. i want to hold him, be held. kiss him, be kissed. cuddle him, be cuddled, and make love with him, and fuck him blind.
fucked, fucked fucked up.
and it isn't his fault. i mean sure one weekend i completely blame on him. i was getting ready for bed and he came up behind and helped me take my pants off (yeah, i shlda seen thru it there, i admit it i didnt want to tho....) and he took his fingers and kinda scratched from the small of my back down to the back of my legs as he took my pant off. basically he teased me. knew that drove me wild.
i was so worked up from that, that my lips were quivering while trying to hold back.
and eventually i caved. and we had sex.
again.i have no control around him.
last weekend, my fault. i teased him. and we had sex.

anyways.... i have come to a conclusion....
i need to get over that boy. and fast.
before i hurt him.
and before i hurt me.
again.