still.....
argh.
now that I am dont that bit, everythingis going very well lately. depite the fact I have been super sick. I have sumdays when I feel fine and others where if i am about and up fer a more then a cpl hours I get sick.... a hundred bucks of meds later and I am almost feelign better. stupid sinus infection!
my karate starts on monday, i amso lookign forward to it!
*le sigh* u know i get pretty miffed at weslesy at times, but he does treat me well. i wish people woutl realise what i blog on here is the bad shit i cant really talk about, but that other then this...life is good. and just cus i vent a lil doesnt mean i am not happy...
yeah, i am poly in heart and monogamous by choice, yeah i regret a lot of things in my life, but i am also happier then i have been in years and i have wesley to thank for it...
i wish i could seriously bitchslap some sense intoa few friends of mine who i can see are making horrible mistakes.... but as fer me..i am doing well.
bit by bit then more and more i have let go of allan....and moved ontot wesley. and fer better or for worse, im happier for it. i still struggle a lot with feelings but i just keep goign forward keep moveing on to better and brighter futured with wesley. cus he is my happiness right now . yeah we got problems, mainly in the commitment dept. i need to slow down and he needs to speed up and then we can meet each other halfway LOL
he still cant sleep in my bed at nights.... i still feellike yet again i am puttin my life and dreams on hold for a man i love.... \it is so furstrateing. but i love him so much. he makes me smile fromt he inside out. i love being with him. we goof off and cuddle and have a real connection..he is my best freind and my lover, honestly. i havent felt that since allan.... that friend-lover connection.
i know wheter we lat or not he was and is the reason for my joy.
love u handsum wesley
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