Mushy gooshyness

Thats what I call it, when I get all soft and full of gross touchy feely stuff! I'm afrais i'm thinking about allan again..... Oh dear. so this is all going to be about him...well mostly. Yup, this lil unicorn has fallen in love, and she has fallen hard! I'm starting to get a life again. On sat night i went out to a murder mystery party. It was gangster themed. I had so much fun!
The story was the local mob boss had died and we were gathered to find out who'd be the next mob boss and whodunnit. we didnt get our characters till we showed up. it was any era you wanted to come as. i went as a modern moll, had my lil black dress and a pinstripe fitted jacket. i was trying to think of a cover story for my hand being in a cast but when i got up to get my character i didnt have to think hard. the character i got was "knuckles" which fit perfect w/ my broken hand! My character unintentionally turned into a lesbian tho! lol! they said she cld be a he or a she, so of course when i picked her knuckles was a she. however a part of my characters alibi was that i was making out w/ a female character whilst the murder took place! lol! it was so much fun. at pone point in t he evening the host came up to me and asked, "ummm are you 2 fighting or are you in charcter?' i LOL and said thanks fort he compliment and yes we were in character! lol!
speaking of characters.... allans and emily were there. Oh my dear god, allan looked amazing! he wore his grandfathers hat (a fedora i beleive) his blue shirt, dress pants, vest from his tux, tie, and his fathers dress coat.... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. as soon as he walked thru the dorr i let out a huge smile ear to ear, then quickly wiped it away b4 anyone could see. I*'m a sucker for a guy ina suit, especially one as handsum as allan!
anytime i see allan i smile. i cant help it. its a reflex. allan says its well worth seeing! lol!
Oh, when i am with him, i feel all things fade away. there is only him and me. and I love him. all bad things just fade. his strength combined with my faith pull me thru.
I just hope he's strong enuff to love me. I am a handfull. i come with a lot of baggage. and i am not your average gal.
allan says he likes that.
i love him.
recently i told him he was too good to me. we were in the middle of cuddling and ummm, beginning to shall we say, become intimate. he took his hands, cupped my face, gently lifted my head up. looked me directly in the eyes and said. "no i am not too good to you. i treat you the way you should be treated."
the look in his eyes told me he was dead serious. and meant every word.
thTS JUST IT. I GUESS I GOT SO USED TO FRANK AND OUR SHITTY RELATIONSHIP I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE. BEING WITH ALLEN, ITS LIKE LEARNING TO LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN. oops, hit caps by mistake, but i wanted to emplahsises my point anyways and my hands are getting sore... so i'll keep it :)



anyways, i know this blog post is all over the place, but i am tired, sick, and tinking of allan.....so that shld all be self ecxplanitory!
i'm going to try and sleep now.