Ok....so, tell me this... why the hell after 114 mths of being separated would it matter to me that Frank has seen 3 women since we have separated? why do i feel hurt and so... disposable? honestly? what is the point? why?
here wassup. i talked witha good friend of mine Mae's daughter, Sarah. Sarah has stayed friends with Frank...moreso with him them me. She kinda hurt my feelings by saying to me "hope you arent doing this for a mam" one time and i just decided to let frank stay with them as froends and i wld back off...anyways.... sarah and i are starting to hang again. so, sarh tells me that frank was going to move several hours away to live out of his van, for a woman. she convinced him otherwise. thankgod!
then he talks about this gal he wa stalkign to online.... things didnt pan out there... and then there is new woaman. new woman comes with pre made family, 3 kids and an ex spouse with whom she has a peace bond against..( we dont have retraining orders up here, we have peace bonds)
yeah... so i cld care less.. tis just.... it hurts for sum reason. i mean i left him. I wold nvr get back with him...
I am not in love with him
but i do still care about him. and u know what, it took me a yr to finally leave him and right till the bitter end i was still truying to fall back in love with him and i was trying to make things work and iwas trying to stay.... but i had to go cus i was miserable and he wasnt trying and eventually u realise for u own sanity and happiness its time to go...especially when dugs, and porn and disgusting child rape fantasies and neglect and lack of intimacy are involed...
still. the fact that only after a few mths , he just picked right up and dated another woman..makes me feel soo... disposable. like, i spent a yr trying to get the nerve to leave and he spent a cpl mths getting over me? i spent a yr tryin to gte over him b4 i left
he spent a cpl mths
i yr...vs...2 mths maybe 3....
wtf????!!!!
an i that disposable. am i that, i dont want to say it... am i that much of a forgetable tossed away bit of trash!?
really... i feel so... hurt. and i dont knwo why....
i am glad he has moved on really., i mean now if he finds out aboyt allen and i i wont b scared. and now i am not afriad to bump into him, cus i know he wont try totake me back cus he has moved on...b ut then.....why does ot hurt so?????
argh!
i dont love him
i'd nvr go back. and i am over him. but ho come he took such a short time getting over me????? i feel so disposable right now....
i just want to be alone... iw ant to deal with these feelings, and i know allan wantsto be there for me... cus last night i pushed him away and he came by anuwaus god bless him... but i just, i feel so rotten and i done know why....

14 mtsh later....
i yr b4 that getting the nerve to go
it was 14 mths total b4 i started dating sum1 fromt eh time i decided to go to the tiome i left to the time i dated allan....
and 3 mths for him....