Very proud of myself....

I.....
didn't.....
have.....
sex.
I swear i havent stopped grinning all day.... i mean, i've had mind blowing sex before and grinned all day outta sheer bliss and joy...this was a different joy. this was a "i can hold my head up high" joy....this was
so cool :)
LOL. despite his will being very limited, despite his attempts to get me to cave, despite his pleading me to let him please me.... yes ladies and gents he works that way he actually take pleasure in pleasing a woman so to his next lady i say this "you are blessed indeed".... anyways despite all this.....
I KEPT MY PANTS ON.
not only that but i didnt even let him "play"

wow.....
i'm still flabergasted.

wow.
i mean last night, i just focused on emily. the whole time he wa trying i am not saying i wasnt "susceptible;e" to his advances, but when i'd almost cave i'd just think of how i felt last week and then thought "if you're that horny Allan, go make love to your emily. cus we arent dating, the problems that were there havent been fixed, and now more problems have resulted because of my lack of will power so....go make love to emily.not me."
damn it felt so good to be bale to say no....
he told me his will power was waining, and i just whispered "then i'll be strong enuff for the both of us"
and i was....
can i get a
WHOOOT WHOOOT
BOOO FUCKING RA
AND A
HOLY SHIT GIRL YOU DID IT!!!!

thank you, thank you very much.
NOW for my next trick, a repeat performance with allan from now on till forever.
right?
well heres to hoping.
one step in the right direction.

life is good.....minus the fact i still madly love allan, but hey.... unrequited love. totally deal able. sexual chemistry, totally dealing with it....