Today, is valentines today.
i know it is overcommercialised, and to most is meaningless.. but to me its not
and i didnt want to be alone today
but i was.
until allan emailed me this afternoon to say he'd be by tonight after his weekly gaming session
but when he dropped by tonight... we hung out..
but as soon as he tried to start "something"
i stopped him
and told him he shoudl be home with emily
i was feelign guilty he was here with me
and he shoudl go home
after much talk
i sent him home
and i feel like crap....
we never did anything... i stopped in time
still
i feel liek i wanna cry....
so yeah... i'm goign to bed now... to work off sum frustrations caused by my being so close to allan and then cry...a lot..
i highly doubt i'm gonna be able to make it to work tomorrow...
why oh why do i keep hurting myself this way....
and why can't i be just a little selfish...
FML...
fuck my life...
But time, new love, and Jesus heal all wounds
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2 comments:
Sometimes getting Better feels bad. You're doing ok and you are loved.
doing whata right,a nd getting better... hurts liek hell! but, i'm gettign there..bit by bit...it took me alost taking my life to realise whats what in this world....
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