todays peotry and sum Fox-y music

Fox elipsus music had me getting out some of my more bluesey moods today in the form of (badly written) poetry. His music is equally as emotionally and thought provokingly strong as some of the great ones of music. you can find his link here to his website and here are some videos that i love which also decsribe how i am feeling these days... Before you go link here and Unrequited link here and i could go with you link here and only in dreams here
i never thought a molested girl like me deserved sumbody as sweet and wonderful as wesley....
and as for allan... now that i am dateing wesley and ina monogamous realtionship i see that polyamory was too much, i couldnt handle being number two all the time.....
damn my heart....


UNKOWN
friend or foe
or lover
my heart didnt know.
what did i do?
where did i end up?
how did i get
to this place
where u and i
and us....
dont exist?


REGRET
I ran away from you
to spare me the pain
and in turn, broke my heart.
Your touch was to my soul
terrifying and exhilerating
your love was both the chains that bound me
and the wings to make me soar
loveing you was torture
and pleasure

MISSING
I left you,
fell into his arms,
felt warmth
of my tears
and his love.
two hearts,
one choice,
something torn
remains


CONFUSED
the anger i feel
it is a mask.
i run and
hide and
push
and scream.
i tear
and smash
and scream
all the louder.
just to cover
the sadness
and the truth
i was not strong enough
to trust you again.

ALLAN
you were there,
when i was broken.
made me whole and held me close
you were there
when i was scared
and lost
and all alone.
or were you?
never mine,
always second,
never thine,
always part time...
you were a dream
i tried to make reality.


WESLEY
say those words.
make me yours.
take my heart.
i forgot who i was.
i cant ever go back
i gave it all up.
just say the words,
and i am yours....
three words...
carry so much weight.

CRY ALONE
I am stray.
never had a
home
wandering
looking for a place
i belong.
try to stay,
always get scared.
run and hide
if home is where the heart is
then my heart
is a stray.....

SORRY, MON AMOUR
caught between
love and a lie
you broke my heart
and my trust
you shattered and
lost
my heart
or so i thought.
but now
i'm his
and you,
you'll never
be mine.
two loves
one heart
and only one life.