I've realized something. altho i am strong enuff to be alone I CHOOSE not to be alone. It's my choice. I am in control. hearts break, hearts mend... My marriage was over a long time ago. I was just too stubborn to see. So while some may think that its only been a few wks and how cld i be over my ex ... i say this... i was "over" him a long time ago... i should never have taken him back but i was so afraid of change, so afraid of loneliness and honestly i wanted to beleive him that he'd change. i wanted everybody to be wrong about him. and i was blinded not by love but by hope and by stubbornness. not only that but my self esteem was so low i honestly didnt think i clould make it on my own. so i went back to what i knew. even tho i knew it was wrong,. I was so stupid! but my senses came around. I realised there had to be more. and there is. and i've never felt better. I feel the old me coning back. I'm back. I am me. and it feels so good.
MORE:
behind me
ruins.
memories and shattered dreams.
broken heart and torn apart
behind me
nothing.
ahead of me
light.
realities of possibilities unspoken
fresh starts and mended wings
ahead
lies more.
CURIOUS:
I don't know what this is.
No idea where it's going.
but i am not scared.
scarred, but not scared
I'll follow it along.
see where it leads
because it has me thinking.
what does it mean.
Who knows.
only time will tell.
but it has me thinking
and i am curious
to say the least.
But time, new love, and Jesus heal all wounds
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