My nick name

Found out tonight....he has a nickname for me. wesley has balled me "babes" all along. and when i do my boob bounce ",y little night elf" and when i shove tits in his face "my anime babe"...

but tonight he let one slip i had never heard

"lovey" no i did not musty[e it...he calle dme "lovee" or "lovie" or as i like to type it "lovey"

he admitted he thouhgt uf it a while ago it is just that doesnt like to say it aloud as outside it could be "gay" sounding

he is so funny

so i told him i loved it.... which i do...and said inside wld be fine. though i suspect he will eventually say it outside.

the name made me smile..

only one other name has made me smile so deeply

"sweetness"

i said no to poly.....not to allan. but perhaps my heart is letting go. soem things are best forgotten....happy memopries can be painful. lost hops and dreams can be painful...

and to smile that deeply...felt amazing. lovey. lol. i like it... suits me as much as sweetness did i think.

wesley still has a lot to learn... he messes up as a boyfreind a lot. somthimes treats me like a buddy ...but cus hes nvr had a girlfreind except one for 6 mtsh when he was 18. so i forgive him... he hurts me, but it is always unintentional..it is a learning curve. i accept the hurt, and move on.... hopeing he will learn from it....

it s hard being a grlfriend to sumbody inexperienceed...but...he treats me well and is sweet and loves me

he says i love you a lot now. always replies bk, unless we r in public. but that comes with time...

i have to have patience with him... slowly.... he leanrs and slowly will get used to me and me to home with him...

home...

i am terrifies to let myself go so much that i will dream of home again...

that pain, that pain of haveing home ripped away... nearly destroyes me..nearly killed me...

i....am leery bout lettign go and lettign home sink in again...

i want to be at home woth wesley... it is just errigying.

i love wesley.....with all my heart that i have. it isnt much of a heart as two othe men had it befor ehim...but it is a ll i have..and it is his...

i just nee to let go and let home..i have already let go and let love...now let home....

hsppiness is a sweet name, warm embrace, and words that make you melt