no sex?

I did it... i actually made it thru one night with allan with no sex.....
i mean, in the past even menstration hasnt been able to hold him back, LOL. not that i was resisting *wink*
i blame it on pms, i was not bitchy (ok maybe a lil bit when we went to the movies too late to see a movie, but that was short lived, lol. like 2 mins of bitchiness)
anyways, for me pms is usually getting all touchy feeling mopey bluesey.... sex last thing on mind. of course usually at sum point i get horny and wanna jump my man's bones over and over...
but yeah, last night.... no bones jumped.... actually just had night out.
i practically begged for night out. said to allan " i would like to go anywheres except my apartment. as long as there is a bathroom nearby"
so we did, we wet out to a local fast food joint, then headed to a park, ate together went out to rent a movie (tropic thunder wanted brainless comedy to combat mopiness)... and by the time we got to my place was midnight
just laid down and went to sleep on sofa while movie was playing....
first time for anything i guess...
me, and allan... no sex
am proud of myself.... actually managed to do it....am proud of allan, he actually managed to do it. ok no surprises there he's always about "what do u want" and if that means no sex he's ok with that.
He really is a good guy. i am lucky to be with him.... i just dunno about this other women thing, i can handle him and emily but even that gets hard on the head at times.
oh story to tell.....i went into wal mart one night a few weeks ago, was looking for beauty and the beast season 2 and i was with allan and emily too. I went back to wal mart last wknd by myself and asked the kid in that department if there were any in stock and he said " was your husband in her looking for that a cpl weeks ago?" of course i then recognised the kid and i said "no, my FRIEND was" and then i decided to tease the poor kid. said sumthing along the lines of "and how come u assume he was my husband? i was witha woman too, why didnt you assume she was my wife? thats very prejudiced and stereotypical of you, you know"
poor kid turned three shades of red and cldnt look me in the eye. i took to giggling and told the kid not to worry about it was just poking at him, but that i hoped i;d made my point
i mean dont get me wrong, i dont believe in gay marriage. i have gay friends tho, and stereotyping does get me a lil annoyed! LOL
anyways i told allan about it last night. and he laughed but when i said i was annoyed at being called his wife he was confused said it wasnt a bad thing at being thought of as his wife.
i told him in public i am his friend and being seen as his "wife" doesnt bode well for the secret especially since he already has a wife- emily, common law marriage of 11yrs. that got him going into his feeling on marriage vs common law ( i love how i can change the subject) and how he wants to actually marry emily, white wedding style. its cute cus she doesnt want the white wedding any more cus of the fact she's already had 2 kids with him.
i think she's lying to herself. i talk to her, and she says "after i had my first little girl i didnt want that white wedding any longer" i think that stems from the comments her father used to say about how disappointed he was in her for "shaking up" with a man.... i think she wants the wedding but that abusive bastard father of hers has made too much fucking impression on her. i mean, ok fine she wants no white or off white dress... there are other options. my friend Julie for example got married Ina beautiful blue dress that looked Cinderella-esque!
anyways, i hope they will get married sum day. and i hope emily gets over her father comments. i sincerely truly believe thats why she says she doesnt want a big wedding....whether she realises it or not!
i'd love to see allan married to emily.
i dont hate weddings. i love them. but i've always had a secret prayer at every one "please, please dont let them end up like me and frank!" i've said that at every wedding... and so far i've only attended one wedding since i left him (not for lack of trying) i guess that says a lot about my relationship with frank....