my heart breaks fer emily. i can honestly say, i understand how she feels. mae was fer lack of a better word and blood.... my mom. my mother gave birth to me and i dont know how much i will weep when the day comes but my mae...she was my mom. and now emily is losing her mom....
she is doing the same thing i did. i used to just show up and stay in maes room, even tho most time she was asleep. it was time together....
emily is detached, thinking about property and such.... but... it will hit.... give it time. no matter how much you prepare yourself, it hits eventually....
i was talking to wesley tonight... shes had sucha fucked up few yrs....
her and allan have problems, her and her father, her and i, the schools giveing her son problems, her freinds and co workers dieing, her husbands nan and aunt dieing, nearly loseing her job in the recession, haveing a 3 way with somebody who is married and their spouse didnt know, finaicial issues some self inflicted others not, dealing with a mom who is ageing and in need, delaing wotha mom who is in and outta hhospital while tryign to jugle 3 kids and a jerk of an ex spouse, dealing with the separation, dealing with jerks who look promsing but are problems waiting to happen in person....
when will it stop.
u know.
i mean i know we all need fire to bring out the impurities in the gold but still.... enuff already the gal has gone thru enuff....
and now her mom is dieing.
and my heart is breaking for her. i know that loss all too well..... and i am really truely sorry she has to go thru this now..... whynow? with the crap from the separation.... why now...
it will be a year soon for me and wesley..... he still cant sleep here overnights. i fought with him..... cus he knew i was upset with thre stuff emily is goign thru i needed him and he decided to fuck off to some game and then not bother to drop by after to spend sum tiem with me as he always does b4 he goes to bed.... so i felt rejected and alone when i needed to feel extra loved and accepted....
nuttin major.... we made up....
fuck why the hell is emily going thru this.... cant she have it easy.... seriously. enuff is enuff....
there are days, i still wish her and allen would kiss n make up.... i think he knows what he has lost and wld be willign to fix his problems and i think she feels the same about her .....i mean she is already working on it... but i know it will never happen... they are thru. no going back and fixing it.... least she feels it is thru.....
poor emily..... neeeds sum sunlight in this fucked up night of a life shes got lately
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