tonight, one year ago....
allan and emily asked me to be poly with them again.
emily, said she wanted me back.
allan said he wanted me back.
i remeber planting the most passionate, long kiss i think possible onallan's lips in the car that night on the way home after they had asked me back.
i remember how much chaos it put me thru. i wanted so badly to say yes but i knew.... there were so many promises and so little to go on. i had been hurt, and i wasnt sure...
so i remember giveing allan a chance to convince me otherwise.
and i remember giveing wesley a chance to convince me
a year ago today it was monogomay vs poly.
wesley vs allan...
and i hated every moment of it.
it was by far the most difficult decision ever....
i'm pretty melancholy tonight.... ok im downright sad tonight....
i love my wesley, i do. and i wouldnt change a thing. but that doesnt mean, my heart still doesnt feel a pang at what was lost in a simple "no" to allan and emily...
so many dreams.... wewre all with a simple "yes granted" and with a "no" squashed
i do not regret my choice.... i did what was best for me...
doesnt mean i dont feel sad....at what was lost...
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