birthday!!!!

So, today is is now officially my birthday...
I've got a full weekend planned... i figure the busier i keep myself the less likely i'll feel depressed... right?
I missmy best freind...
anyways..
i went to a freinds palce tday to buy them and myself birthday treeats at an ice cream shop, then i went shopping. i got my Godson gabriel a shit load of presents cus i found out today i'm FINALLY gettign paid my short term disability benifits! hooray!
i then went to a movie, using my free pass of course... clash of the titans. you know, they had a cpl little refernces to the old 1981 movie but it was compleltly differnet..lotsa artistic liscence...but a good movie none the less. i enjoyed it... am in love with the black pegasas! kicks ass!
that was my day... tommorow i am goignt o breakfast by myself... then i geta cake deliviered. my freind at church made me one. then i have a party to go to sat night. we arer dressing up in costumes and playign nightmare. nostalgic much? and my freinds there have made me a cake...
then sunday its off to churcha nd then sunday night another party playifn witha different group of freinds and ... paul is goignt o make em acak. so is another friend... i'm goignt o be all caked out ths weekend! LOL
all ina ll, the point of this weekend is to keep myself as busy as possible and try to be as happya s possible... and to feel the love from my other freinds...

anyways..
we'lls ee how things gof rom there...
i still miss my best freind emily...
we'll never be best freinds again, i know...but... i still wish she cld be in my life...
wish id never had that affair.... it cost me my sanity, my best freind, and my heart...it has me filled with guilt and shame and regret....
maybe one day i'll feel better...