I'm not sure what i want any more. what to do
i'm confused and fucked up and right now. i dont feel like i belong
me me me me me me me me me me
whine whine whine whine....
the nightmare are still here. can't tell if i'm thrashing about....
feeling incredibly lonely, and confused.... thinking bout just running away...cutting everybody off... cocooning. but i really do not want to start all over again, from scratch that is. new furniture, bed, appliances, aquariums, etc cus i dont have the money to move away entirely to a new cityand buy all new things...i liek my things. i worked hard for my thing.... i dont want t lsoe them and start over... ... but i want to get away from this.
i dont want to deal any longer
i'm tired....
i just want a place i can call home...
i can be happy alone...but i cant be happy without a home...
i'm very very tire... and if eel liek i'm gettig to theend of my rope....
i'm jst so tired...
sumbody, come into my life and help me feel ...like home.... like i belong... thats lal i ask...to belong....
i'm trying to fix things with my parents, really i am...
it not enuff tho...
i'm so fucked up nobody is ever goignt o want me in their life...
i dont think i'll ever feel the way i want to...which is...home.

this weekend, not easy. very very lonely.